5 Keys for Creating New Habits and Lasting Positive Change

Change can be tricky to navigate. Creating and keeping new habits can be even trickier. It’s important for us to remember that anything new will take some time and effort to become part of our new “normal”.

What is “normal”? The truth is, “normal” is different for each of us. What’s normal for my body, my thoughts, my emotions, and energy, is likely very different than yours. Just because something is normal for us, doesn’t mean it’s healthy. So, we are talking about creating wonderful new habits, right? Then why are we talking about unhealthy habits? Here’s the thing: If we just mask over poor habits with new ones, the old ones can sabotage our efforts for change. We need to dismantle them first.

When we decide we want to make healthy changes, it means our “normal” will change. Being aware of this is our first step to creating lasting positive change. Here are five keys to get you get you on track with new habits, and keep you there:

 

1. Awareness is the first key to change.

 

When we become aware that change is needed, or we have unhealthy habits or health issues, that’s when change begins. What are “habits”? Why do we have negative ones? A negative or unhealthy habit is often created when we are trying to have a need met. We can have needs met in healthy or unhealthy ways. For example, trying to have a healthy emotional connection with a loved one, when we are in an unresourceful state, can be replaced with sugar, or “emotional eating”. The possibilities of substitutes and habits are vast and can include everything from sleep to diet, to exercise, stress, substances, work habits, relationships, and more. When we are in an unresourceful state, we can unconsciously try to fill a need with something as a quick fix. Over time, we can get in the habit of turning to that “quick fix” (ie: sugar) to feel fulfilled in some way. When we become conscious of such choices, that’s when we can begin to choose something more resourceful. We can recognize there are healthy ways to have our needs met.

 

2. We need to be honest with ourselves.

 

Is this easy? Perhaps not. Sometimes we are not yet fully aware of what is driving our unhealthy habits – and that’s okay. We just need to be honest with ourselves about where we are right now. If we are not sure, we can be honest with ourselves and say, “I am not sure, yet.”
We make changes based on where we currently are. If we aren’t honest with ourselves about where we are, we cannot truly take a step forward into change or creating something new. If we avoid the truth, we can’t truly change it.
When we are honest with ourselves, no matter how difficult that may be, we can then take full responsibility. This is the incredible and awesome power of honesty. When we take full responsibility for ourselves, and where we are in our life, and our habits, we fully empower ourselves to move forward and make change.

 

3. Let yourself off the hook.

 

No one is perfect. There may be days where you mess up, revert back, or forget. It’s okay, just pick up where you left off and keep going. Our biggest critic is ourselves, and all that pressure on yourself can destroy even our best efforts. Have some compassion for yourself. Mindfulness is key here. Notice your self-talk. Is that voice in your head encouraging or discouraging? Keep it positive, compassionate, and encouraging.

Negative self-talk might sound like this, “I fell back into my old habits, nothing is going to change. I should give up.” When we notice this kind of speech, we can rewrite it in our minds.

Instead, we can shift our self-talk into a positive mindset like this, “I fell back into my old habits, that’s alright it’s part of the process, I’ll pick it back up where I left off. I know I can do this.”
This may feel strange at first but, creating a new “normal” does feel strange in the beginning…Because it’s not normal (yet!).

 

4. Choose a clear, actionable goal.

 

We can spend all our time saying we want to make some changes, but if we don’t take any real action for change, nothing will happen. Choose a clear goal that you can measure, and create an action plan. You need to measure the change you’re wanting to apply to your life.

For example, if we want to have less stress in our daily life, how can we measure that? One way would be to make a list of all your personal indications of high stress. The list could include poor sleep, mood, specific emotions, physical indicators, etc. Then, measure the changes daily, or weekly, as you apply your new habits. Write it down or keep a journal, our memory isn’t reliable enough for measuring change. When you look back at your notes, you can measure and compare the change.

When we get stuck, it can be helpful to remember our “why”. Having a strong “why” will keep us rolling forward on the most challenging days. Your “why” is the reason you are wanting to make changes in the first place. Wanting to be healthier, or happier, are great reasons, but they aren’t personal enough. For example, maybe your reason for wanting to create new habits is because you want to spend more quality time with loved ones, or feel proud of yourself for making a change, or be able to participate in an activity you’ve always wanted to try. The more personal your “why” is, the stronger it will be. It will motivate you during challenging moments.

 

5. Small things everyday, make big lasting change.

 

Often, we will look at the big picture and become overwhelmed with how big it seems. We try to skip straight to the end goal and give up because it can feel like too much work and effort. Creating a new normal, is a process of rewiring our brain. Thankfully, neuroplasticity means we can rewire our brain anytime, regardless of age or pre-existing habits. It just means, our brain is willing to be rewired into new patterns, new ways of thinking, and new habits. The trick is consistency. We are creating a new pathway in the mind, a new pattern. It doesn’t take a bulldozer to create the new path, we just need to walk the same path everyday and eventually it will be a well-worn path that doesn’t require work to walk it. In the beginning, breaking new ground takes a bit more effort, but with constant use, it becomes effortless. Creating new and lasting habits are the same. In the beginning it takes some consistent effort, but after some time, it becomes more and more effortless. It just becomes part of our “normal”.

For example, if the goal is to drink 8 glasses of water everyday, but your current habit is drinking 2 glasses of water a day. It may feel like a challenge in the beginning. If you start by drinking one extra glass of water everyday, that is a positive change. Maybe 6 more glasses of water a day is too much to start. We can take our time and work our way up to 8 glasses. In the beginning, the effort to remember the extra water will be some work, the body may also need some time to adjust to absorbing more water, etc. It’s not a race to the finish line, creating lasting change is more of a marathon. It’s a long-term relationship. Take your time, start small, be consistent. Consistency is the key.